Eagles Wings

October 3, 2005

Chaplain Ron Ritter is an amazing person. He told me, “My life is divided into two parts. The first part of my life is prior to September 18, 1985. The second part is that day, and everything after.” I asked the obvious question, “What happened on that day that was so profound it became the watershed of your life?” “That was the day my son died in an automobile accident.” Ron said.

An ordained Lutheran minister, Navy Chaplain, and theologian, Chaplain Ritter said the experience of losing his son verified what he suspected for a long time. “The church does a lousy job of grief ministry.” (Keep in mind Ron was a Lutheran parish minister at the time.) “Oh sure, the church does a fair job of holding folks together up until and through the funeral service. But after that, the church is usually is nowhere to be found.”

Ritter’s pilgrimage of sorrow led him to explore a deeper understanding of grief; how congregations and clergy can do more to minister to the grieving. The process can be measured in years, not days, weeks or months. The outcome of Chaplain Ritter’s pilgrimage is an organization he founded called “Eagles Wings”; ministering to the grief of veteran’s widows (and widowers).

Ritter estimates 19 veterans died each day in the San Diego area. Most of these are World War II and Korean War veterans, but an increasing number of Vietnam era vets are dying. Eagles Wings offers four one-month-long programs (one per quarter) each year in which veteran widows gather, express their loss, and work through what we have come to call “the grief process”. They meet four Sunday afternoons every fourth month in the Chapel at Balboa Park. The final service ends with a pot-luck meal. During the two months they do not meet each quarter, Eagles Wings offers support to grieving veteran widows.

Chaplain Ritter invited me to become involved with this wonderful ministry. He introduced me to the larger community of Grief Therapy, extending the opportunity to attend their annual conference in Phoenix. As my schedule permits, I shall become more involved with Eagles Wings, with the goal of become a better grief minister.

“I have come to understand that if the church is to do an adequate job of grief ministry, it must become a ministry of the laity. The minister cannot do it alone,” Ron said.

“Grief is the price we must pay for loving,” Ron continued. “The church teaches us to love. It should also teach us how to grieve.”