Civil Government

November 29, 2005

My alma mater, Delta State University, has as its official mascot the Statesman. The Statesman mascot is an Uncle Sam looking individual with a top hat, except the school colors of green and white make him look more like a Notre Dame’s leprechaun. (Just in case the NCAA declares the Statesman politically incorrect, as they did to Florida State’s Seminoles, we have an alternate mascot in waiting: The Fighting Okra. I am not kidding; you can’t make this stuff up.)

It begs the question: Who is a Statesman, anyway? They are rarer than chupacabra sightings. Back in Mississippi, we had a few real statesmen. Gov. William Winter, Lt. Governor Evelyn Gandy and Senator John Stennis left office with their dignity in tack, and with more respect than when they entered office. Non-politician statesmen included college president Dr. Aubrey Lucas and industrialist Owen Cooper, both of whom also provided outstanding lay leadership in their Methodist and Baptist churches, respectively. Apart from that handful, I’m having difficulty coming up with other genuine statesmen.

It’s such a shame that there are so few statesmen, especially in Washington. It saddens me greatly to see the rancor coming from our elected leaders. I doubt they are waiting to hear my suggestions, but I’m going to offer it anyway, ready or not.

First, there is a huge difference between politicians and statesmen. Politicians look at the next election, statesmen look at the next generation.

Secondly, statesmen understand the value of humor. Former Senator Howard Baker of Tennessee said humor is the oil that makes politics work. It is so sad we do not have the likes of Senator Sam Irwin (“I’m just a po’ ol’ country lawyer from North Carolina”), or Senator Everett Dirksen of Illinois whose one-liners could make Democrats and Republicans laugh together, and not at each other. What ever happened to the civility that saw Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill ending a contentious day with jokes?

Third, politicians take themselves far too seriously; statesmen can laugh at themselves. I can name a couple politicians who underwear seems to be on a bit too tight. But as Chairman of the California Whig Party, I’ll take the higher road and let you look at their faces and figure out who they are. When was he last time you saw one of them smile; I mean a real genuine smile, not a sneer?

Finally, if you guys don’t quit assassinating each other’s character, and get on with the nation’s business we elected you to do, and cut out that bickering as if you were a bunch of spoiled kindergarten brats, we are going to recall the whole lot of you! (I don’t care if it is a Democrat or a Republican, it’s a long standing tradition that traitors get shot at sunrise.) Don’t make my mother have to come up there and make you kiss and make up like she did to my little brother Louis and me after we fought. But you know what? It worked! I don’t think there is enough Ivory soap in Washington to wash out the mouths of some of you guys.

It’s not too late. Some of you might make statesman yet. But the way you are headed, I don’t see a statesman in the whole bunch. How sad for America.

P. S. Some say politics and religion should not mix. Could it be that is the problem? Politicians don’t seem to have much trouble telling religion what to do. Looks to me like the folks in Washington could use a good dose of religion.

P. P. S. Anita encourages me to stay away from politics in these newsletters. I will be sleeping on the couch tonight (again). She says I should too much like Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes.